Trinity didn't even let us read the mirror message that Charlie left. She just wiped it away like she didn't even exist. She also complains that Eureka sabotaged her by saying she should go home last week. Too bad...you suck!! Nina feels that some of the girls are a little too cocky (and the camera pans to Shea and Sasha having a kiki)...and she hopes that they will be in the bottom.
We have a mini-challenge this week. YAAAAAAASSSSS!!!! I have missed them. And we get to see the Pit Crew for the first time. And my heart belongs to new member, Jared. He's so fine!! The queens have to do a sexy swimsuit challenge (with the Pit Crew). Peppermint (who seems to go first all the time now) is giving us some Andra Day realness with her look. Alexis went for a giant hat (which I fully approve of) and made the crew lift her up...and it was awkward, Aja just got on her knees. Cucu made the crew grab her cucu, of course...and the picture was so blurry that you couldn't even see it. Valentina made Ru re-introduce her as the reigning Miss Venezuela (and came out in a stoned swimsuit...again), then made the crew be "cholo homeboys."
Alexis wins...and gets a $1,000 gift card to FierceQueen.com...and gets to pick her part in the main challenge, as well as assign all the parts to the other girls.
Maxi-Challenge is a hip-hop herstery lesson/lip sync extravaganza...and a musical. #KardashiantheMusical.
The girls listen to the track...and now it's time to assign out the parts. Alexis will be Kris, obviously. Eureka is North West. Cucu (Kuku like the Kardashians) is Kim. Farrah is Kylie (Jenner). Valentina is Kendall (also a Jenner). Aja is Kourtney. Sasha is Lindsey Lohan. Trinity is Paris Hilton. Peppermint is Britney, bitch (and doesn't seem to be happy about it). Shea is Blac Chyna (and Nina is pissed). Nina gets to be Khloe (the best Kardashian, even though I hate them all). Some of the choices were weird. Was Alexis being strategic or just making choices.
Farrah educates Valentina about Tyga and his history with Blac Chyna and one of the twins (I think Kendall). And Eureka informs us that she will be doing the show on crutches because of her cheerleading injury when she blew out her knee doing the splits...or a cartwheel...or just walking across the stage. Nina is super bitter about not get the Blac Chyna role and won't let it go.
Here's a clip from the workroom with Ru. http://www.logotv.com/video-clips/ov6nmw/rupauls-drag-race-the-kardashian-clan-preps-for-the-challenge?xrs=synd_facebook_rpdr
Choreography with Todrick Hall...and his bestie, Chester. Eureka is representing North West in the future (cuz she not a baby). And she informs us that North is 403 pounds, 6'4"...and crippled (cuz she's on crutches). Shea busted a move as Blac Chyna that even Nina couldn't talk smack about. Alexis, Aja, Kuku and Nina are a group as the OG Kardashians. Nina is still on the bitter boat and still complaining that she's not Blac Chyna. Kuku keeps hiding in the back (you'll know why later in the episode). Aja can't dance a simple cha-cha step. And Alexis has got it down. She really wants to win this one. Farrah and Valentina are terrible at doing paddy-cake. Three takes and it still doesn't work out for them.
Back in the workroom...
Someone must have shown Aja how to contour her nose...and it was a revelation to her. She is just giddy that her nose lost some weight. It was everything to her. Eureka made a serious apology to Valentina and Sasha for the eating disorder joke last week. She seemed sincere this time around. Valentina informed us that she promised her mother that she would eat everyday. Shea jumps in and reveals that she was bulemic for a time in her early 20's as well. Apparently it was a question on the application this year. But they want to remind everyone that eating disorders are not just for women...gay men have body issues too. REALLY?? Sasha then dubbed this season as "RuPaul's Best Group Therapy Race."
Meanwhile, I'm in the bar like this... (those are giant hohos)
Onto the musicale...
Ru looked good this week...the best she's looked all season so far. Guest judges Todrick Hall and Meghan Trainor are joined by Michelle and Carson. I wish Ross was there every week...he's my favorite regular judge. Anyway, there were some theater puns made for each judge...but let's get on with Kardashian the Musical. It's a very True Hollywood Story, told in yearly sections from 2006 - 2025.
And Ru got to resurrect her "thank you" gag with Meghan.
Here we go...
Peppermint (Britney), Sasha (Lindsay) and Trinity (Paris) were up first at a club, where we eventually meet Kuku (Kim). The trio were all really great. But Peppermint was definitely the standout as Britney. So good. The look and dancing were on point. Finally she did something right. Poor Kuku is terrible...and doesn't know the words.
Moving onto the Kardashian home with Alexis (Kris), Kuku (Kim), Nina (Khloe) and Aja (Kourtney). Alexis' Kris was pretty much flawless, even though she was wearing cork wedges. Maybe Kris really does wear wedges, but I wasn't feeling the shoes.
Kuku still doesn't know her words...or she just can't keep up with the fast lyrics. Either way, it's not good. She's trying to cover it up by just exaggerating every wrong word bigger with her mouth. Nina stepped it up and did her part. I thoroughly enjoyed her as Khloe. Aja was fine, but nothing special. But Kourtney is by far the least interesting of them, so it worked.
Farrah and Valentina as the twins (Kendall and Kylie) was dreadful. They still can't do the paddy-cake choreography. It's really bad. I wonder if they even practiced it or just didn't care. Valentina is very focused on her make-up, so maybe she just didn't have time. They did know the words, so their lip sync was good. That's something positive. But it was pretty boring to watch.
Shea Coulee stole the show as Blac Chyna...and I think we could all hear Nina crying to herself as it was happening. I have nothing else to say about Shea. It was really perfect.
Eureka had the strangest role, as North West (in the future). And she came out looking like the Queen of the Night from The Bodyguard with a Rachel Dolezal wig (look up those references if you don't know either one of is...it's a funny joke).
Overall, I loved it!! It is everything I could have hoped for in the episode. I personally would have rather they sing the thing live, but I totally get why they didn't. We would have never heard anything from Kuku because she didn't know a single line of her dialogue.
Runway category is Faux Fur Fabulous!!!
Peppermint - cute outfit, with another bad wrap skirt
Trinity - she took Kimora's jungle outfit and added 3 times as much crap to it...and I hated it
Sasha - Russian dancer realness and I was all in for it
Alexis - good start, terrible reveal...and I hated the gladiator boots
Cucu (cuz she's not a Kardashian anymore) - was shrowded in a giant roadkill rug and then did a reveal of even more roadkill in her train
Nina - looked fierce and fabulous and she mixed it up with her make-up this week
Aja - looked like another Valentina rip off (last week it was Cucu) and she had some weird crotch lines from that harness she was wearing
Valentina - awful...I hated it...it was a snakeskin gown (not fur) and a fur stole...that's not the challenge AND it was boring
Farrah - it was fun - I loved the green (that looked blue at first) - hated the fringe necklace
Shea - she was a perfect little monster - so cute
Eureka - hobbled out on crutches in a bodysuit with fur (and some hair) shoulders - I did love her giant wig this week, but didn't love the outfit
Peppermint, Alexis, Farrah, Cucu, Nina and Shea are all asked to stay; everyone else is safe and can leave the runway.
Sasha is feeling unsure about her place in the competition. But she's just going to keep pushing. Girl, you haven't been in the bottom yet. So don't fret over being safe or in the top. Eureka got a ride in a wheelchair backstage. The lighting really continues to confuse me. I'm assuming it's the whole HD thing. But Aja's hair looked white on the runway...but during Untucked it is clearly pink. And Farrah's fur looked blue at first on the runway...and then turned green the further down the runway she got. I don't get it. If you're a lighting person, please feel free to tell what's happening.
They all think the tops and bottoms are pretty obvious this week. And they all start talking about Nina. She seems defeated. She told Aja that she wasn't going to do the lip sync if she was in the bottom. She told Trinity that she's ready to go home. They are afraid that her self-doubt has really gotten in her head; but that she doesn't just give up (like Charlie last week). I have to admit that Nina is a puzzle to me. I think she is pretty amazing as a queen. But she is super negative and really bitter about a lot of things. I know she has had a rough time as a queen in Atlanta, but look where you are, girl. Now is your chance to prove to the world that you are fierce (and maybe a little crazy). I actually thought she did well in the challenge...and her look was one of my favorites of the night.
Valentina reveals that she stones everything...her nails, her hose, the bottoms of her shoes. But she doesn't have enough money to stone her toilet seat at home...yet. They start to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle" and Valentina went bananas with it, doing her best Mariah impersonation. I hope she drags that out for Snatch Game (which looks like it might be next week).
The tops and bottoms join the girls backstage. Farrah has a break-down, which seems kind of fake. She was mainly upset that Michelle told her she uses too much highlighter and looks metallic. But they also hated her performance too. Valentina showed Farrah some tough love...and made her drink her cocktail. Farrah wants to rehearse her lip sync.
But Alexis will have none of that. She's got something to say. Bitch called every single queen out for NOT telling her that her dress was basic. Farrah really wants to go practice, but Alexis won't let her leave. Trinity didn't think it was that bad (but did you see what she was wearing?). Eureka interjects timidly because she doesn't want people to think she is jumping in where she's not wanted and tells Alexis that she has tried to suggest things in the past but Alexis didn't want her advice. Alexis thinks that she's going to lose this challenge because of her ugly, boring dress. And then Nina just turned her back on everyone in the room.
Sasha gives Nina a lecture/pep talk. And Shea has a moment with Nina too, telling her to fight for it. Don't give up. Do it for all the little brown girls out there who are always being held back.
Then Eureka broke a chair...apparently the second one of the season. And she didn't get a ride back to the stage in the wheelchair this time.
Farrah and Cucu seem to know that they'll be lip syncing for their lives.
Back on the main stage...
Peppermint and Alexis are both safe. And Shea is announced the winner (which I predicted even before the runway, so it wasn't entirely your dress, Alexis). She won a Caribbean cruise for two...maybe she will take her bestie, Sasha.
Nina is also sent back to safety after they read her about all the drama she is causing for herself. I loved the black tear down her cheek...it actually made me love her outfit even more.
So that leaves Farrah and Cucu to lip sync to the Meghan Trainor classic, "Woman Up," I personally have never heard of this song. So I hope the queens know it. Cucu immediately strips out of her roadkill rug into her bra and panties (like last week's challenge) and Farrah eventually throws off her fur jacket. Guess what? Cucu doesn't know the words...big surprise!!! Farrah does seem to know them, but wow she's boring. Cucu tried to distract everyone by placing herself front and center in front of Farrah...and then doing the splits. But I was still just focused on her mouthing nonsense words that were nowhere near the song lyrics. Of the two, I would keep Farrah. She was better. Cucu was a mess. But really, they both could have gone home and I don't think many people would be too sad about it.
Ru needs a moment. Yes...double elimination, please!!! All the queens are confused. Ru comes back and tells Eureka to hobble back to the front. The doctors won't let Eureka stay because of her injury, so Ru sends her home. I actually feel bad for her...even though I can't stand her. But Ru tells her that she has an open invitation to come back for the next season (which hadn't even been picked up at the time)...and so we will all see her next season. AND...she doesn't get to steal the last look by being the last queen off the stage this week. HA!!
Because of Eureka's early demise, Cucu and Farrah both get to stay. UGH...another week with them both. And this time, Cucu got the last look from the stage...with a bow and kiss blown to the world.